Breathing Lessons
by Everafter1313
Summary: Riven Grimm just moved in. She hates her new life in Forks, Washington. But one boy changes her whole outlook on life, but is it for the better?
1. Breathing Lessons

Breathing Lessons

I sighed and leaned my head back against the headrest. It seemed only yesterday I was in an airplane, heading from the Amazon rainforest to Egypt. My father was in the US Air Force and volunteered my family to be part of the group stationed over seas. Dad promised this would be our last move; as I quickly pointed out that it probably wasn't. After all the fun places I'd been, Forks sounded like Hicksville.

Forks was a small town by Washington State, about a three hour drive to Seattle in America. My home country even though I'd never lived with in its boarders. After living in five different cities in Egypt and within walking distance of the Aztec temples of the Moon and Sun, a small unknown town sounded pretty boring.

Surprisingly I fell asleep. I didn't realize that I had until the annoying Bing of the seat sign woke me. I pulled my seat up and fastened my seat belt. My hair had fallen out of its confinement and cascaded around my shoulders. I couldn't find my rubber band, and the plane began descending. The decent was exhilarating and fascinating. Everyone did something different. Beside me my mom turned green and I laughed.

"Show off," she muttered between clenched teeth. I laughed again. Poor mom; she was always sick, almost like she was allergic to everything under the sun. I, gratefully, didn't inherit. I did inherit my eyes from her; dark root beer brown and almond shaped. My lips where hers as well, the kind that boys stared at (when they weren't staring at my boobs). I was mainly a cross between both my parents.

Mom was African-American with very dark skin. Her ancestry traced back to Egyptian roots; but most recently slaves in the 1600's. She was a lovely woman, skinny, but with the same motherly charm heavy-set women in movies where portrayed. She loved to cook, and hoped that our new house had a large kitchen.

Dad was pure bred American. He actually lived in Forks when he was growing up. That's why we where going back. Dad had hit his fifties so he retired and decided to move us back here with the money.

The mix of these two races resulted in me. I had creamy brown skin- not unlike Halle Berry. My hair was lighter, a tawny color instead. I tried my best to resemble the great actress, but didn't succeed very well. I was not that pretty, and I would never be. But remarkable enough, some kid in Egypt said I was gorgeous. I found our later that his friend was the one who wanted to screw me. Wow, did my life suck. But I learned to deal with it. I had no accent surprisingly, even after years of speaking a different language.

We spoke English at home, so I guess that's why I don't have an accent; away from the out side world we where pure Americans. I tried to think of how life in real America would be, and shivered. The thought was scarier than it should have been. Americans couldn't be that bad... could they?

I was wrong. Americans where not scary, they are terrifying.

We stepped off the plane and into the Seattle airport. Everywhere there where people fighting, arguing, sleeping, eating, everything! There where people with multiple hair colors, and multiple piercings. There was even a girl my age, or younger, about six months pregnant. The sounds and lights and smells knocked us off our feet.

We gathered our courage and walked through the dizzying building; with dad in his full uniform leading the way. I carried as much of our luggage as I could, hope to relive some of the strain on mom. Outside a black, nondescript car waited for us. The chauffeur opened the door as soon as he saw dad and let us in; then came the long three hour drive to Forks.

The first little bit of the trip was when I learned about my new school. I was now going to a real public High School, and not one conveniently located on Base. I had nothing in common with these kids at all-- all three hundred and seventy-five of them; me being the three hundred and seventy fifth person. Everyone knew who was going out with who, who had broken up with who and so on. It was all very annoying and the more I heard, the more I wanted to leave it. I would stick out like a yellow balloon in a sea of blue balloons. There was no stopping it though- we where going to be here forever.

The rest was spent sleeping. I had major jet-lag and could hardly keep my eyes open. I vaguely remember hearing about our house, an old light house on the edge of an Indian Reservation- which the Base had graciously decorated and put in furniture to fit each persons own individual taste. I hoped they had paid enough attention to my likes and dislikes. I fell asleep in mid-thought and didn't wake up until I could feel some one carrying me, but I fell right back asleep instantly.

I woke up groggy and disoriented. It was dark out side and I couldn't find a clock in the dark. My eyes adjusted, and I saw that it wasn't night, but around six in the morning. What caused the dark was a cloudy sky and rain. I now lived in a place rainier then a rain forest. I almost laughed.

I climbed out of the bed I had found myself in. A light switch was conveniently located on the wall right by my bed. The lights slowly lit up, allowing my eyes to grow accustomed to the light. These lights only illuminated the room where my bed was. They where a designer style of light set up in the ceiling; the glow was soft and gave the bed a comfortable look. I then realized that the only way out of the room was down a ladder.

My bed was in a loft.

The room below was huge in my eyes. The ceiling slopped downward from the top of my bedroom ceiling to end at a sharp angle with the far wall. I was sure my voice would echo in a room this size.

The floor was hard wood and someone had de-stressed it before putting it down so it looked— and not felt— a hundred years old. It went along beautifully with the color scheme of the room. Someone had paid very close attention to my likes.

Deep mahogany wood and garnet paint and some black and gold paint. The walls where a garnet like color with more black then was needed mixed in. Gold paint had been randomly splattered over the other paint and glinted when you moved. Against one wall was a mahogany desk with deep, intricate designs hand carved into the surface. A laptop sat waiting for me with the lid closed and wires connecting it to and Internet connection, a printer, and an Ipod twisted around its back. A small collection of books garnished the top of the desk with rusted bookends.

A flat screen TV hung on the wall above a cut-out that held a DVD/VCR player. Two skinny horizontal poles stood away from the wall, one on either side of the TV. It took me a while to realize they where the speakers. Bean bag chairs where shoved into a corner to be pulled out at will. A vanity occupied the other wall with its mahogany wood and detailed carvings. They really had done their homework.

Down stairs, Mom and Dad where up and sitting in a kitchen off to the right of the front door. A quick glance around the room made me think of the Addam's family. The house had a similar floor plan and probably just as big—only clean.

I greeted my family with a big, toothy smile and hugs for everyone. Mom was overjoyed that I seemed to be enjoying Forks so far. Dad went back to his newspaper; probably hiding a smile.

"What's on the agenda for the day?" I flopped down into a chair at the table while mom piled eggs, sausage, and hash browns onto my plate.

"I'm taking you down to the DMV so you can drive yourself." Dad's twisted way of talking was muffled slightly by the paper. I watched him while chewing on a huge mouthful of egg.

"I will just be staying here." Mom piled food onto her and Dad's plates and dug in.

Meal time was a big deal around our house. It was the time when we where all together and talking and just plain enjoying each other's company. A habit we picked up when we where in South America; we continued it now, four years later.

The DMV; that meant that I was going to finally be able to drive; legally though. I hoped I would get to drive when we got to Forks, and own my own car. That seemed like a possibility, one I hoped to get; with much pleading if necessary. I'd studied as hard as I could about the driving laws in America once I found we where going to be relocated there then later the laws of Forks. My brains where scattered all over my desk from studying. Without Moms help, I would have probably hemorrhaged to death over it.

The trip to the DMV was the longest thing I have ever sat through. My nerves where completely shot and I was no better then the statues in a museum. Dad, bless him, told me comforting stories and reminded me of all I'd been through— all the things I'd lived through— and just how much I should be scared of a drivers test. It wasn't very much, but I still couldn't help but feel butterflies— or bats— ramming around inside my stomach.

The test was easier then I'd ever thought possible. I could have cried at the obvious simplicity of the test. Once, behind the wheel of a car seemed like a nightmare, now drowned in the joy of the rush of victory. They stood me up against the wall and right before the picture was taken, I stuck out my tongue and held up two fingers in the "victory" v shape. The camera lady laughed her head off as she handed me my license. I tripped over myself in my haste to get to Dad's car. He was just as happy as me and celebrated by singing "I'm proud of you" over and over. I couldn't help but join in when his enthusiasm poisoned me.

At home, sitting in the driveway was a brand new Audi Nuvolari in the brightest shade of red ever. Stamped across the back where several bumper stickers, but I couldn't read them from here. But I could read the license plate, RD-DEVIL; I had no idea what it meant.

"Dad, were we expecting someone?" I questioned, watching his face. A smile was being bitten back, but it still glistened in his eyes.

"That's for you sweetie." He finally laughed out. I was out of the door and heading to my car, my Audi, before he was finished. I heard him laughing as he parked his car and I threw open the door. The keys where sitting on the seat waiting for me. The engine roared to life and purred as it waited for my command. Mom and Dad stood on the porch watching as I pulled away from the house and took off for a drive around the town.

As I drove, several things caught my eye. One was a flashy new Mazda RX-8. All the cars I'd seen where old beat up Sedans and Suburbans. To see a car that had just been released parked off to the side of the road threw me for a loop. I brushed it off to see the few people that where outside waving at me. Word had gotten around the town already. I hated to see what would happen if I went out on a date.

A highway led to everywhere in the town. I followed it around, testing out the Audi. I found my high school, more like a collection of buildings then anything. I dreaded going tomorrow and having to face the people. I stopped off at a store and bought myself several jackets and hoodies for the new weather climate. I would adjust fairly quickly, but until then I wasn't going to freeze. I slept horribly that night.

School the next day was a horrid monster looming over me at breakfast. I knew Mom and Dad could feel it too, all from the way I zombied through my breakfast. I ate it numbly with my eyes unseeing and unblinking. How was I going to make it through the day? I didn't think we would really be here long, seeing as how we moved a lot, but Dad was retiring and wanted to be in his home town. I was ninety-nine point nine percent sure that Dad knew everyone still here and by tomorrow he would know everyone else. I was not to happy about staying here where it was too cold and always rained. I did not intend on making any friends nor did I want to be a topic of gossip my whole life here. Those two wishes could not happen at once, so I had to choose one or the other and that depended on how the school was.

The school itself was a collection of buildings built out of maroon bricks, numbered by little plaques. I found a spot in front of the office building and took a deep, calming breath before heading in.

Stacks of paper cluttered the room and threatened to topple over onto the woman behind the desk. She looked up at me and my "demon child" hoodie and frowned. When I introduced myself her frown disappeared by a smile and an apology. She found me a schedule and a map and outlined routes to each of my classes. I gave my thanks and left.

The parking lot had filled slowly while I was in there and so I followed the flow of traffic to the student parking lot. The Mazda I'd spotted yesterday was there, and I parked next to it to show off my Audi while inwardly fuming at the car. I don't know why it irked me when I was no better then them with my Audi.

My first class was English, a subject I was all to good at. I found it with no problem and took my seat in the back of the class and out of the way. The teacher droned on and on and all I could do was stay awake. I wanted nothing more then to fall asleep and never wake up. But wishes don't get one a scholarship. I would just have to deal with a boring teacher until they talked about something different, something exciting. In English? Dream on.

Once the bell rang for the end of class a boy with black hair and glasses turned to me. He seemed the Chess Club type to me, and I made a mental note to stay away from him if possible. I learned his name was Eric and was defiantly Chess Club material. He walked me to my next class and left me at the door with a barley concealed sigh.

Trigonometry was just as bad as English. I had already learned this stuff in my class on Base, but I kept my mouth shut and focused once again on keeping my eyes open. It was tough work, but I did it. I had Photography next after Trig and Auto Shop after that. I was surprised to know that they even had a Auto Shop class here. A small choir was my next class, and I felt weird going into a choir class covered in grease from a car. But I pulled through once again.

A girl from one of my other classes saw me on my way to lunch and invited me to join her friends at their lunch table. I gave in and joined her.

A quick scan around the room for possible escape routes showed my eyes a table in the far corner. Five people sat at it— five extremely, inhumanly beautiful people.

Each one had a tray of food in front of them but weren't eating a single bite. Three where male, the other two where female.

One male was tall and lean with honey blonde hair. Another was big, like a weight lifter, with curly brown hair. The last one was stouter, still tall, but not as thin as the blonde or as big as the brown. His hair was an odd bronze color and perfectly messy, but not overly so.

One female was thin and pixie like, resembling a ballerina. Her hair was short, black, and pointing in all directions. The other was so perfect; I wanted to crawl under a rock so I wasn't seen by this beautiful woman. Her hair was a russet color and fell around her shoulders like velvet.

Each of them had perfect and flawless faces. Angular and soft, evenly placed and smooth. I wanted to touch one of their faces just to see if it would feel like silk. Every eye was dark as night despite the range in hair color. They had soft bruise like shadows under their eyes like they weren't getting enough sleep or just recovering from a broken nose.

But I didn't pay this any attention for all I could do was stare and wonder who was the most beautiful. Was it the russet girl of the bronze haired boy?

The girl— who's name I remembered now as Jessica— waved her hand in front of my face.

"Hello? What are you staring at?" she asked, obviously wondering if I was insane or something.

"Who are they?" I jerked my head at the five who still hadn't moved. Jessica glanced at them and rolled her eyes.

"Oh. That's Edward, Emmett and Alice Cullen and Rosalie and Jasper Hale. Jasper and Rosalie are twins and foster kids to Mr. and Mrs. Cullen. They adopted Edward, Emmett and Alice at a young age." I nodded to show I was listening. "Apparently they're 'together'. Rosalie and Emmett and Jasper and Alice."

"Which one is Edward?" I asked, hoping he was the only one with out a girlfriend.

"The one with the bronze color hair; watch out though, he doesn't date."

I wondered when he turned her down. I was still going to try though. As if hearing his name, Edward turned to look at me. I instantly felt self-conscious for once in my life and ducked my head. He was just so beautiful, like a model. I wanted to cry from shear amazement and sorrow that I wasn't any where near as beautiful as them; to even have a prayer of him looking at me.

"What are they doing in this boring town?" I muttered. Jessica shrugged, missing the insult I had said.

My next class was Biology with a boy named Mike— who seemed intent on being my best friend. The class room was full by the time the teacher arrived. By now the only empty place was next to Edward Cullen. My heart beat speed up as I neared the table, book in hand.

But when I got there I froze, every muscle in my body as stiff as Edward had just become. And his eyes where black, coal black.

As I settled in to my seat he shifted his seat to the very extreme edge of the table length and then he still moved to the edge of his chair. One hand rested on his knee in a tight fist, tendons standing out under his pale skin. Up close I realized he was more muscular then I had thought he was when he was next to his burly brother. His skin was like marble or alabaster, perfectly smooth and looked so hard and yet so soft. I wanted to touch him, and then to ask him what was wrong. But something held me back, refusing to let me even open my mouth.

Now I was so self-conscious I couldn't think straight. What was wrong with me? Guys where on my "to do" list. I never had anytime for a boyfriend, let alone want one, but now that I lived in this boring town, my subconscious mind had registered my freedom where I hadn't.

I hoped I didn't smell bad and pulled my hair over my shoulder so I didn't have to look at his perfection or his odd stiffness. Maybe this was normal behavior for him. Maybe that was why he sat alone with his family at lunch— I knew it had to be something like that; he was to gorgeous to even be alone. With that thought in my head I was able to keep my sanity all little bit longer.

As soon as the bell rang Edward was out of his seat and out the door before any of us could move. I stared after him until Mike drew my attention away from him.

"What did you do? Did you poke Edward with a pencil or something?"

I knew he meant no harm as we walked to Gym together, but somehow it made me mad. I wasn't the one at fault here and yet it sounded like I was. I fought to keep my anger down and my self control up. The last thing I needed was a scene in front of the whole school.

I managed to get through Gym just fine, but I still was wondering about the whole thing with Edward. One thing I couldn't get out of my head was his beauty. Next to him Leonardo's angels paled in comparison. Such beauty was odd on a male, but somehow he managed it. Once again I was taken off guard by him. His whole person was a distiller for my mind. Nothing was working right and I knew it, but I couldn't stop my self.

I should explain something here. I won't go into too much detail; that will ruin the surprise. When something intrigues me, or bothers me in someway, I become obsessive over that one thing until it practically consumes me until I figure it out. That is what happened with Edward Cullen. For a whole week he was missing from school. I wanted a chance to ask him what his problem was, but he was never there for me to ask him. I slowly began to wonder if I had just imagined him, but no I couldn't have. His family was still here. That automatically threw that one option out the window.

And then it happened.

I got too comfortable with the setting I had been forced into. I could now talk openly to Mike and Jessica and a girl named Angela— who had the same Biology class as me. I was enjoying it here. That was what I vowed not to do, but somehow I did. But everything was still so green— to green. The rainforests where nice, and I'd adjusted to Egypt so well, but Forks— I would go insane. True if I was indoors I could stand it, but outside was torture. I supposed someday I would get over it and adjust, but I was not prepared for what came next.

Mike met me just inside the door so we could walk to lunch together. I rattled on and on about a girl I sat next to, hoping she would hear before heading out the door where I froze in mid-step.

Powdery whit stuff covered the ground and fell in clumps from the sky. I flattened myself against the wall as hard as I could and stared out at the glistening white mush in horror. It looked like God had ripped open a teddy bear and dumped the cotton all over the ground.

"What is it?!" I managed while Mike yanked me away from the wall.

"Snow," Mike answered. "Jeeze Riv, it's like you've never seen snow before." He was leading me gingerly by the hand towards the lunch room like I was a lost child. Maybe I was at that point.

"Only in movies." I watched my breath rise in a mist around my mouth, and smiled. Mike took it as a good sigh and let go of my hand to launch a snowball at my face. I screamed like I was shot and scraped at the wetness that filled my face. Mike's laugher was cut short by my snowball at his face. We laughed and threw snowballs back and forth all the way to the lunchroom.

I quickly glanced around the room for Jessica and the crew, so naturally my eyes swept over table in the far corner.

There where five people there.

My breath came up short. I stopped and remained in the doorway, frozen and nervous. Mike calmly guided me toward the lunch line. I suppose he was used to my weirdness already and didn't bother to ask why I was now hyperventilating. After sitting down, wedged between Mike and Jess, I fully intended to ask him what he had against me, even if he was glaring.

But he was laughing. Jasper, Emmett and Edward all had dripping wet hair and where shaking it at Alice and Rosalie. The perfect group of people for the movie I had been imagining. They where enjoying the snowy day just like everyone else— meaning they where human-- only they where perfect.

"Riv, what are you staring at?" Jess made me jump. Edward's eyes flashed over to me as if he saw me jump. I looked down so fast I thought I got whiplash. He didn't look mad at all, just curious and unsatisfied somehow.

"Edward Cullen is staring at you." Jess giggled.

"He doesn't look angry does he?" I gushed, my voice no louder then a sigh like I'd been holding my breath. Maybe I was. I didn't know anything anymore.

"No, should he? He's still staring at you!"

I groaned and let my head fall onto the table with a thud. The kids nearest me lifted their trays in the air as my head hit the table and once my head was still they set them back down as if nothing had happened.

Mike started talking about an epic snowball battle he wanted to have after school and wanted us to join him. Jessica agreed whole heartedly, but I— as politely as I could— declined.

But as we headed out the door of the cafeteria everyone but me groaned. The majority of the school was crammed in the doorway watching the snow melt. As they finished their groan my hands shot into the air and I let out a triumphant yell, all thoughts of Edward momentarily forgotten. Everyone looked at me and I blushed. But they only laughed and started throwing what was left of the snow at me.

I staggered in to Biology, dripping like I'd jumped into a pool. I bet I looked like a martyr but a brood, idiotic grin was stretched from ear to ear on my face. Edward was there, sitting at my table and Mike gave me a hopeful thumps-up. I tried to return it, but my enthusiasm was gone. Now I was cold and miserable and wet and trying to put on a good face. Edward didn't try not to look at me, but he still sat as far away as possible.

"You must me Riven Grimm." a quiet, musical voice blew at me from my right.

I was stunned. I looked around at him slowly as if he would disappear. His hair was dripping and disheveled— but he still managed to look like he'd finished a commercial for shampoo. His dazzling face was friendly with a slight smile on his flawless lips. But it didn't reach his eyes.

"My name is Edward Cullen," he continued dispite my gaping mouth. "I didn't get a chance to introduce myself last time." I had to blink multiple times before I was sure enough that he wasn't going to disappear before I could answer him.

"How do you know my name?" was all I could come up with. I wanted to kick myself. He smiled again.

"Everyone knows you." was his answer.

"Oh yeah. School of three hundred and seventy five." I muttered, looking away.

The lab that I just realized was going on reached us in the very back. We reached in the box and pulled out a microscope and slides. I remembered this lab from Base and immediately pulled the microscope towards me. Edward calmly handed me a slide.

"Ladies first partner." his smile was still in place and it still didn't reach his eyes.

"Anaphase." I announced after a quick look to confirm it was the same lab.

"May I have a look?" he reached out to take the microscope from me, but I didn't move my hand fast enough. His fingers where cold— probably from the snow— but it wasn't that that made me jerk my hand away. It was the electric shock that ran up my arm that made me move.

"Sorry," he repented and slid the microscope toward him. "Anaphase." he confirmed my answer and wrote it down on the answer sheet in a flowing, elegant script. He slid slide number two under the lens while I was still gaping at his hand writing.

"Prophase." he murmured, writing it down. I couldn't breathe straight, his voice was just as beautiful as he was. The closest thing I can possibly think of that comes even close enough to how beautiful his voice is was a singer called Josh Groban. And it still didn't come close.

We continued on like that through the rest of the lab, always careful not to touch each other's skin. We finished before anyone else and I laughed silently at Mike and his partner, who where comparing two slides over and over. Another group had their books open under their table. I tried so hard not to look at the Greek God beside me, but failed miserably. I noticed the something different about him.

"Did you get contacts?" I blurted, not wanting to be polite.

He blinked, taken off guard. "No."

"Oh," I flushed, totally embarrassed. "I just noticed that your eyes where a different color." I wanted to die. Where was that over-confident self I once had in Egypt? I knew it was because I was no longer special, a step above the rest. This person next to me was proof that I was no better then everyone around me.

He shrugged and looked away. But I was sure there was something different now. Before, his eyes where like midnight with no moon, striking against his porcline skin and bronze hair color. But today they where a deep butterscotch color, warm like a topaz. Now his eyes matched his hair. So golden and light. I wanted to stare at it forever.

"It's a shame about the snow." I got the feeling he was trying to make small talk with me.

"Not really," I confessed. "I did enjoy it though. But it was way to cold for my tastes."

"You don't like the cold." it wasn't a question.

"Well I've never seen snow before." I wanted to kick myself again.

"Why is that?"

I rolled my eyes despite myself. My confidence was returning with every word I spoke to him. He seemed to be enjoying our conversation and it gave me more courage.

"I grew up in a rainforest and Egypt." Once again I couldn't help but explain my reasoning to him.

"Forks must be hard for you to live in comfort." he sympathized. I made another mistake by looking at him. He was smiling a crooked, beautiful smile that did reach his eyes and I stopped breathing, and told the absolute truth.

"Not as much as it would seem. It reminds me of the rainforest mostly. Everything is so green, and so beautiful. Egypt was harder though. But I got used to it.

"When did you move?" he was sympathitic at the look on my face.

"When I was thirteen." I wasn't going to explain the reason why though, no matter how hard he begged. That was my families secret.

"You weren't in Egypt very long then." he seemed generally curious.

"Yeah. But Egypt is in my blood. My Mom is African-American with Egyptian some where along the line." I knew exactly where. "We moved here when Dad retired. He grew up here and wanted me to spend the rest of my growing up here as well. Mom wasn't very happy— she loved Egypt. I kinda did, but the heat was unbearable in the summer. Sure we had an AC but a lot of good it did." I realized I was rambling and shut up.

"Why? That hardly seems fair."

"Hasn't anyone told you? Life isn't fair." I half-smiled.

"I think I have heard that some where before." he smiled in response.

I turned to the black board. My thought ran wild, chasing each other around and around my head, all of them based on Edward. Why did I trust this amazingly beautiful, yet bizarre boy with my life story? I never trusted anyone with anything about me, not even myself; but somehow Edward Cullen had broken though my defenses and ripped from me the very information that I wanted to hide.

"Am I annoying you?" he sounded amused even though his eyes where intense, burning with curiosity— and frustration.

"No. I'm mostly annoyed with myself. I've never told anyone what I've just told you." I confessed once again mesmerized into telling the truth. I regained my senses and turned my face into a hard mask.

"Why does it matter to you?"

"That's a good question." he muttered, almost to quietly for me to hear.

I realized that was all the answer I was going to get. I wanted to demand more out of him, but the teacher started class up and I had to stay quiet.

Edward, Edward, Edward . His name echoed around and drove me nearly insane. I didn't want it, but it came, etching its mark on my brain— and my heart. I was going in too deep, even at this early stage. A place I never wanted to be when it all fell down.

I spent the remainder of my evening in a pair of overalls and half in, half out of my parent's engine of their car. Auto Shop was my favorite thing next to choir. I prided myself in being a built in car garage. I could fix anything wrong in a car— but I couldn't fix myself.

_Why did he have to be so perfect? Why couldn't I be as perfect as Rosalie and be worthy of his attention? I wanted to know him and wanted him too. I sat out on the lighthouse, way above the world with a perfect view of the ocean below. There I looked up at the stars and mourned my love for Edward Cullen._


	2. Phenomenon

Phenomenon

I was falling, falling hard and fast. The white light burned through my eyelids and disturbed my sleep. My eyes snapped open just in time for me to realize I was falling and to flip over and land on all fours like a cat, jarring me cruelly into the real world. My hair fell around my face and onto the floor as I tried to wake up fully. The bright white light was pouring in between the cracks in my blinds. I had fallen somehow out of my loft and onto the main floor.

I jumped up as soon as I realized there was light coming in through my window. And then I groaned.

There was a layer of thick snow over everything. I didn't need that on top of all the things I had going through my mind right now. But it wasn't within my power to fix that. I would just have to be a big girl and tough it out. I hated this place.

I glumly grabbed a brown turtleneck sweater and a pair of jeans and headed for the bathroom. I was going to make this as painless as possible. Maybe I could use the snow to my advantage.

Mom didn't believe me. I marched myself out of the door and to my Audi in a huff. My stormy rain clouds made it halfway to the school, but I cooled down enough to enjoy the beauty of the glittering snow jewels.

But my bad mood returned when I slipped on some ice by my car, only to have it dissolve again when I saw the silver chains around my tires. Dad had gotten up at unholy hours to wrap chains around my tires so I would be safe. I got up to look at my back tires and sure enough there were chains on them too.

And then I heard it. A loud screeching that hurt my ears as it got louder and closer.

Several things happened at once. The adrenaline rush sped up my thought process, making everything appear to be moving in slow motion. I turned around in what seemed like a slow process. Edward Cullen's angelic face was staring at me in terror from a sea of faces wearing a same mask of horror. I completed my turn to see the dark blue van, tires locked against the breaks, spinning wildly across the parking lot— straight at me! I had no time to react, no time to throw up my hands and protect myself, or even dive out of the way like a pathetic human.

Something slammed into me cutting my scream of terror off—but it wasn't the van. I was lying on the pavement between the Audi and the car I'd parked next to with something as solid as stone and colder then the pavement pinning me down. But the van seemed determined to crush me. It collided with the Audi and spun around toward me again.

A low curse reminded me that I was with someone— a voice impossible not to recognize. Two long white hands protectively stopped the van a foot from my face. Then they blurred, moving the van— and me— without any strain. I was swung around like a rag doll out of the way of the van and when I was safely out of the way, he lowered the van down again; with a visible jolt of the driver inside.

Everything was silent, and then the air was filled with people screaming my name. And once again all I could hear was Edward's low frantic voice in my ear.

"Riven? Are you all right?"

I wanted to get up, to see if I was alive and not dead or dreaming, but Edward held me tightly even though the immediate danger was gone.

"How did you do that?" I managed. "I mean, you where over by the Mazda then you where here..." I trailed off miserably. Edward was looking at me as if I was crazy.

"What are you talking about? I was standing next to you the whole time."

What if he was? I wouldn't know, as my tears overwhelmed me. I was once again thirteen and I couldn't do anything to save myself—so vulnerable and helpless. I cried into Edward's chest. I got so much comfort out of that.

Edward held onto me while the kids and adults got the kid out of his van. An ambulance came and it took six EMT's and two teachers to move the van that Edward had moved with one hand. Edward refused to leave my side and sat with me in the back of the ambulance as I cried on his shoulder. He let me without complaining.

I tried to sort out what I'd seen so I could know what to ask from Edward. One minute he was by the Mazda— I was sure, and the next second he was pulling me out of the way. And when they where lifting me into the ambulance I had seen a deep dent into the bumper of the other car— a distinct dent that easily fit Edward's shoulder line... as if he had braced himself against the car with enough force to damage the metal frame...

They took me to the ER where I started crying even harder. Edward left me there with my bad memories associated with this room, so many that I didn't want to remember. So I curled up in a ball to protect myself and hugged my knees, eyes closed, tears still streaming down my face.

Tyler Crowley was brought into the bed next to mine. He looked a hundred times worse then I felt; covered in blood stained bandages but staring anxiously at me. I was still sobbing but managed to look at him.

"Riven, I'm so sorry!"

He was not going to be derailed from his track no matter how hard I tried. I had no choice but to listen to him tell me repeatedly her was sorry. I was fine, in shock, but alive. My body wrenching sobs had quieted down to just gasps now.

"D-don't wo-worry, you-you mi-i-issed me an-ny way." I was stuttering so badly that I had no idea what I'd just said. My voice broke twice.

"How did you ever get out of the way?"

"E-edw-ward C-cull-en pulled me out o-o-of th-the w-way." I thought my stuttering had gone down. I guess not, huh?

I got wheeled away then to a quiet room to be by myself. I asked if I could just leave but I was crying too hard to be taken seriously. They left me alone to calm down so I resumed my ball position and waited for the tears to stop. By now I wondered if my tears where just pent up rage and sorrow at moving or real honest-to-God tears of fear, whether I knew what they were or not didn't matter. Right now getting them to stop mattered—and figuring out what to say to Edward Cullen.

"Are you asleep?" a musical voice asked.

He was standing at the foot of my bed with a smirk on his face. I glared at him though I knew I looked like a drowned animal.

"So, what's the verdict?" he asked me.

"Shock; they won't let me go." I managed to not stutter but my voice broke. "Unlike some people I know."

"It pays to know people," he answered. "Actually, I came to spring you."

A doctor came around a corner then. I could feel the shock take form on my face as I threw a glance up and down his body. He must have been only in his late twenties or so with clear skin and golden blonde hair and crystal blue eyes. He looked tired but somehow happy with dark circles under his eyes. The grace that he carried himself with was so very familiar he had to be only one person, Edward's father, Carlisle Cullen.

"So Miss Grimm," Dr. Cullen had a remarkable voice, and I could hear an unspoken question hidden in it. "How are you feeling?"

"Shaky. I'm done crying now." I hiccuped.

"Edward said you hit your head pretty hard."

"Did he now?" I shot my most venomous look at Edward. He chuckled and flashed me a patronizing smile. My eyes narrowed as the doctor's cool fingers probed my head.

"Your mother and father are in the waiting room." Edward told me.

"Yeah and half the school." I muttered as I slid off the bed.

"Sounds like you where extremely lucky." Dr. Cullen didn't try to stop me but smiled at my slight stagger.

"Lucky Edward was talking to me at that moment." I lied.

Dr. Cullen nodded and moved on to Tyler. I wanted out before the blood came.

"Can I talk to you for a minute?" I hissed at Edward. He took a step back from me, his jaw suddenly clenched. "Alone." He glared but must have realized I would not be swayed because he turned and strode out of the room. I had to run to keep up. At a safe distance away he turned to me.

"What do you want?" he sounded annoyed, his topaz eyes cold. His sudden unfriendliness put a damper on my anger.

"You owe me an explanation." I couldn't bring any anger into my tone, but he could.

"I saved your life—I don't _owe_ you anything."

My temper flared back up like gasoline on a fire. "You do too. It's how you _did_ it that you need to explain."

"What do you want from me, Riven?" he snapped.

"I want to know the truth." I said.

"What do you think happened?"

I told him everything. Everything I'd thought about, everything I'd considered. How no one had seen him near my car when I was pulled away. About the dents in the car and in the van and how he'd held a freaking ton of a van off of me without breaking a sweat of a bone. I told him _everything._

He was staring at me in shock, but his eyes where defensive.

"_I_ _lifted a van off of you?_" his tone questioned my sanity. I nodded. "No one will believe you." his voice had an edge.

"Who said I was going to tell anyone? I told you, I just want answers." The first line was dripping with sarcasm.

Surprise flitted across his face. "Then why does it matter?"

"Why shouldn't it matter? You saved me and I don't get a reason why or even _how_? And you ask me why it _matters_?"

"Can't you just thank me and get over it?"

"Thank you."

"You're not going to let it go are you?"

"No."

"Too bad, I hope you like disappointment."

We glared at each other, livid and fuming. It was a shame to see such a beautiful face contorted by anger. It was like trying to stare down a destroying angel. I vowed to never make him mad again.

"Why did you even bother?" I regretted it the moment the words passed my lips. I knew I needed to watch my thoughts before they became words and the result was right in front of me.

Edward was taken off guard and looked surprised—vulnerable. "I don't know." He whispered and walked around me and back the way we had come. I couldn't breathe and couldn't speak. My heart was being torn to shreds with every glance he gave me. I hated the mess I had become. I had once been strong and now I was nothing more then the pathetic sun deprived people of Forks. And I hated it.

AT home I sat out on the broken down lighthouse with the soundtrack to _Titanic _playing softly in my ears. Below I could just hear the crashing of waves against the cliffs. A cool breeze pulled my hair around my face gently and I pulled my jacket closer around my shoulders as I moved my knees closer to my chest. A sigh escaped my body as I imagined Edward as Jack and me as Rose. I was standing on the bow of _Titanic_. Edward was behind me, holding me safe in his arms, his breath disrupting my thought process. I had my arms out as the ship cut through the water like a knife. I knew nothing would ever come between us as long as we were on top of the world. A shooting star shot across the heavens, briefly drawing my attention.

I made a wish…

THE next month was hell, only cold. Everyone wanted to talk to me, ask every question under the sun to me and learn how I lived through the car crash. I stuck with the lie that Edward had been talking to me and he pulled me out of the way. No one had apparently seen him near me before the crash, so I knew I wasn't totally insane. But they never stopped asking me questions. They begged me for more and never left me alone. I managed to hold my own against the hoards of people, though I was near to breaking by the end of the month. And Tyler followed me everywhere I went, intent on making up for nearly crushing me. I was going to strangle him while mom got over protective.

And Edward had stopped talking to me although he was right next to me in every Biology class. He never said a word.

And Jessica reminded me of another unwelcome thing in my life: a dance.

Nothing could have prepared me for that. I can dance, but to be stuck in a room full of guys but only be able to dance with just one—which was what I hated. And then to have Jessica call me just to ask if she could ask Mike to the dance… Why the hell did it matter to me? He wasn't my boyfriend to worry about, or my property to loan out to the expense of others.

But Jessica wasn't her normal, talkative self the next day. And Mike was silent too. I wondered if Mike had said no. Of course I'd be the last on she'd tell. My suspicions where confirmed when Mike—as usual—perched on my table before class started. Edward was there but I ignored him like he ignored me.

"Jessica asked me to the dance." Mike said. I pretended to care.

"Well? What did you say?" I probed his eyes.

"I told her I'd think about it." Was it just me or did Edward's head turn slightly? "I was hoping, maybe, you where going to ask me." It sounded like a question, maybe even a plea. Edward's head did turn a little more. Maybe it was because Mike's eyes flicked meaningfully toward him.

"Mike-"I couldn't think of a nice way to let him down. "I don't dance. Heh—dancing is the extent of my limited abilities. Chaos would erupt and the world would end."

So I may have exaggerated a bit, big deal. I just didn't want to face the consequences of dancing.

"You should tell Jessica yes. She'd be very happy."

Mike agreed, though very reluctantly and went back to his seat. As soon as he was gone I lost my smile and rubbed my temples with a frustrated groan. Men where all dick heads and nightmares.

"Riven?" It was the unmistakable beautiful, enchanting voice.

Sure enough, when I looked over, Edward was staring at me with an odd expression on his beautiful face. It was some where between frustration and curiosity. We stared at each other with no intention of letting up any time soon. His face was what drew my eyes, but what was there was what kept them there. What I wouldn't give for at least some degree of the beauty he possessed so I could deserve him or even—no, that was to big of a wish. Not even he could grant that.

"The Krebs Cycle." Edward answered a question I hadn't even heard and reluctantly turned back to the teacher, releasing me from his liquid gold gaze.

There was so much I wanted to ask him, so many ideas I had. But I slowly came up with and idea as to why he wasn't talking to me. I didn't like it, but I wanted to prove it first. But how could he have been so far away and be able to pull me out of the way of the van? No one had seen him near me, so his "I was standing next to you" bit was way to far fetched. And the dents in both cars how did he plan on explaining that?

The bell rang for the end of class and I started gathering my things up, fully prepared for gym.

"Wait." Edward almost whispered.

I turned. "Oh, so you're talking to me now?"

He smiled softly, "Yeah, I guess I am."

I had to take several deep breaths before I could talk civilly. "So, what do you want Edward?" A thrill shot through my body as I said the name. This was wrong… so very wrong.

"I'm sorry," he sounded sincere. "But its better that we're not friends."

My eyes narrowed. Like I'd never heard that one before.

"You should have thought about that sooner. Then you could have saved your self all this regret." I knew it was rude, but I had to say what way on my mind or I would go crazy not knowing.

Edward was taken of guard again. "Regret?" he asked. His alabaster brow furrowed.

"Yes. Regret for not letting that stupid van squash me." I started fighting back tears. He regretted saving me because I was black. That was the reason—the only reason—I could come up with. I hated it but I wasn't going to let him get away with racism. "Because I'm black." He looked like he got slapped in the face. I scooped up my books and stormed the Gym, leaving Edward behind in shock.

But my anger died down considerably by the end of Gym. I knew I would have to apologize to him later and I hated it. His voice whispered my name in the back of my head when I didn't want it. It sounded so right, but he was trying to stay away from me. It was my fault I was obsessed with a racist. No, he'd never said that was the answer. Maybe God just hated me for some reason, and was cursing me with the one thing I couldn't have. That sounded more logical then Edward being a racist.

As I rounded the corner of one of the school buildings, a tall dark figure was leaning against my Audi. I was going to pass out if it was Edward come back to yell at me—thought I knew I deserved it.

But it was only Eric. My heart rate slowed down and I stopped running over different things I could say.

"Hey Eric," I tried to be friendly. "What do you need?" Did that sound a little rude? I thought so…

Eric looked at the ground. "I was just wondering, maybe you'd like to go to the dance with me?" his voice broke on the last word.

Okay, so the whole "God hates me" idea was sounding very plausible right about now. I would have to apologize to Edward now though. I told Eric I was planning on going to Seattle that weekend and that I don't dance. I really needed to get out of this town for a day. Eric looked like I'd just broken his heart, but at the moment I didn't care. Edward had just walked passed my car toward the shiny silver Mazda RX8. I slammed my door a little to harshly—glad that my Audi had survived the crash—and pulled out of my slot to sit behind Edward. My foot itched toward the gas pedal, hoping that I could at least scratch the paint on that shiny body or dent it…

A tap on my window made me jump. Tyler Crowley was standing at my window. A quick glance behind me confirmed that his car was there, giving me no where to run. I rolled down my window to apologize.

"Sorry Tyler, I'm stuck behind _Cullen_," I let the venom sink into the last word as I gave my best death glare at the Mazda. Tyler actually flinched at my tone. "Shouldn't be too long of a wait." I hoped, happy now. Poor kid must have thought I was bipolar or something.

"Naw, it's okay," he recovered quickly enough. I tilted my head to the side, knowing it was odd. "I wanted to ask you to the spring dance nest Saturday."

Now I was positive, God did hate me and was sending every human male in this horrid town after me. I finally did answer Tyler, though very un-lady-like. I didn't have time to be considerate of everyone's feelings as my own where out of control.

"Tyler, I-don't-dance. And I'm going to Seattle that weekend anyway." What I didn't add was the 'to get away from crazy, doped up, hormonal males' that I was thinking viscously.

"That's okay. We still have Prom." He shrugged and walked back to his car.

"Why you overzealous son of a-" I cursed him with every foul name I knew as I rolled up my window and prepared to go over the Cullen family car where Edward was unmistakably shaking with laugher. But the car was now full and he was speeding away leaving me alone with the problems I now faced.

At home I made enchiladas with an old Mexican recipe I knew that required all of my attention. _Shoots and Ladders_ blared out of my headphones; Mom knew not to bother me if I was in the kitchen or if my headphones where on.

I thought about Edward as I diced onions. It was so mean of me to call him a racist, but what other reason could he have as to why he hated me so much? He was just so beautiful. Why did I have to fall for someone who would never give me a second glance or a second thought? Never before had I ever thought of boys this was, and then along came Edward Cullen, the most amazing and bazaar boy who could lift full sized vans with one hand.

He didn't like me, I knew that, but some corner of my subconscious refused to believe that. But he was also trying to be polite and not lead me on; I saw that now and my eyes prickled. I had jumped to conclusions and all he was trying to do was say he wasn't interested. My love had made me blind to what was right in front of me. I should have realized what he was saying the day he pulled me out of the way of the van.

My music shifted without my knowledge and now _Miss Murder_ played too loudly for my mood. The frustrated sorrow clouded my mind to common sense. The knife in my hand flipped up so I could hold it at its point between my thumb and first two fingers in a second and then it was buried up to its hilt in the opposite wall of the kitchen.

_'Simply a look can break you heart,' _sang the music.

That night I sat up in the lighthouse again and stared at the moon. I was bathed in its pale light that made the faint blonde streaks in my hair look blue. I hugged my legs to my chest as rain started to fall from a cloudless sky. The stars above looked like the lights in a city, twinkling and blinking with their light. They looked so different here then they did in Egypt.

I traced the star constellations as the rain got heavier. I remembered old stories told in Egypt to scare the little children. About a race of inhuman beasts that where neither human, nor beast, but somewhere in between. They would creep into your room in the middle of the night and steal your soul through your blood.

_Vampires. _

Creatures of the night and shadows. Stories told of their inhuman strength and speed. One story said they where beautiful creatures with pale skin and dark eyes. They stood in the shadows of the night and beckoned to the weak minded with long white fingers and gleaming teeth.

I climbed into my bed full clothed. Was Edward Cullen a vampire? And if he was, did he mean for me to be his next meal? But as my vision blurred and I began to lose consciousness, I knew that I didn't care. It didn't matter to me what Edward was if he was a vampire. _I didn't care._ He could be his own version of Hitler, slaughtering millions so he could live and wouldn't give a damn because he couldn't be like that if he'd saved me, the black girl, from a van.

I fell asleep with a smile.


End file.
